Congratulations! You recently stood up before all of your fellow members at Highlands and publicly proclaimed your intention to raise your beautiful kiddos in the fear and instruction of the Lord Jesus. It was a beautiful moment…but now what?
To begin, let’s remember the key Scripture passage to help structure how we look at practicalities.
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:1-4 ESV)
First, we see that children are to “obey their parents in the Lord…”This is a direct pick up from the Moral Law of God (the Ten Commandments) which endures as God’s moral standard even for today. But while kids are required to obey their parents, (AMEN!) there is a condition – “…in the LORD.” Much like wives submitted to husbands “as to the Lord,” this means that we parents (and husbands in particular) need to lead in a way the glorifies the Lord. We don’t “lord” our authority over our children, but lead in a way that glorifies God.
Second, we see that this passage gives us the promise “that it may go well with you…”In context in the Law, it was for Israel living in the Promised Land. But in our context today, it means that our homes will radiate with the fruits of the Spirit – “…love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control…(Galatians 5:22-23 ESV) If we parent the way that God calls us to, there is a much greater likelihood of our homes reflecting these fruits.
Third, we see this command is focused on Fathers. Dads: we are the spiritual leaders of our homes. A famous quote defines leadership as “influence,” and that is certainly true in the home. What are we supposed to be influencing them towards? “The discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Be the Godly influence in your home…and it has to come first from your own heart that loves God supremely. Likewise, another leadership axiom reminds us that we can’t lead someone where we haven’t gone personally. Dads: Go to God personally, a LOT. Know your Bibles. Labor often in prayer for your family. Show your kids what a Godly marriage looks like. When you sin, repent. This will teach your children more than all the sermons in the world.
What does this mean practically? First, as stated above, be diligently pursuing your own growth in godliness. This is done privately and publicly which brings us to the second part – priorities the local church. Invest in the church. Serve there. Make deep relationships there in friendship and study. Carve out time for Mom to do that too. Prioritize the Lord’s Day above all else. Third, lead family devotions as much as possible. You don’t have to be a Bible expert to do this, especially when they are young keep them short and sweet, and we have resources for you to get you going.
Moms – remember you are a team. One united front with your husbands towards the goal of making disciples of Jesus Christ. Children must be evangelized…we must tell them the words of the gospel and encourage them to personally repent and trust in Christ. Until then, we strive together as one toward that goal. Your church is here to help support you any way that we can.
Thank you for your public commitment to raise Godly children, we are so proud of you.
Pastor Mike for the Elders